listening deeper into the lyrics, i got moved (because i can relate to it, somehow). i also felt guilty, for i'm constantly trying to push myself towards Jani when he's not reciprocating the feelings in any way. i also began to realize that maybe i'm already giving him a hard time for he doesn't really feel the same way, and here i am, bullying him to like me back. i also came into enlightenment that i'm sacrificing too much of my dignity and myself for this person. and that is really unfair. i started to ask myself why i let myself stay inside the dark pit when i can actually go out and get some fresh air.
maybe that's why i also felt offended when Oppa said that he hates stupid girls. now i realize, so badly, that i had been stupid for Jani, too stupid i almost lost myself.
as what my colleague kristine had shared with me yesterday over a cup of Starbucks coffee, "learn how to love yourself and let things go as natural as they can be. glow in positiveness." she's right. all this time i thought i have so much love to give that i badly need someone to care for, when all along what i should have done is to love myself more. i cannot please everyone and i'm not born to do that. if they don't appreciate me for what i am, that's always their lost. i know my strengths and my flaws. i know my abilities and my limitations. i know my past and i definitely know how to make my future be the way i want it to be. and most especially, i am the only one who knows how to handle my present and how to make the most out of it. if i only have one true friend in this world, then i must be really blessed because i have someone who's real to me than a bunch of fakes.